Long Break
I haven't written in ages, I've been so busy with work and trying to salvage any sort of social life I have that I haven't had time (Maybe I'll start using the AudioBlogger again). Anyway.. I have been having trouble sleeping as of late. Like today, I went to bed last night around 12AM or so (Normal for a Thursday, when I work till 11PM) and Something woke me up at 4AM, some impending sense of danger or despair, something that I just couldn't shake.. I laid in bed, tried to get back to sleep, but couldn't. So here I am, writing.
In the past couple weeks, I have had things change on me at work. Some things that I have been doing for the past 2 months have been wrapping up and a newer (MUCH BIGGER) project is starting that won't finish until November. I spoke to my boss today about the future, and I told him that I wasn't interested in moving as much anymore, that I wanted to be in this area for at least another year due to personal issues. I told him that I haven't heard of any problems that have arisen from me being out of the office (and I have been asking around) and that I don't forsee a problem arising from me being at a remote location, and he didn't comment so I couldn't tell if he agreed or not... We'll see what he says in the coming weeks. They can't get rid of me though, I've done the best job in the position I'm in that they have had anyone do, and these projects coming up require MORE people (not less). So I'm playing with basically all the chips already.
Things with Kenny have been progressing nicely. I have my small periods of doubt, as does he, but we know that we really like eachother and see eachother as someone we could spend alot of time with, so in the end, we believe it'll all work out. Only time will tell, right? He's the main reason I didn't want to move out of this area. He's stuck here until 2006 so, I don't want to move out and leave him behind just as we're finding out that we are quite compatible.
I really miss having someone around all the time like I did when I lived with Marci. In fact, when I think about it, I really just miss Marci. She was a great friend and I feel I ruined alot of what we had together. I want to see her more often and should be able to soon once I can drive again (my license is actually legally restored, I just have to clear up a silly matter in another state). I hope she'll want me to..
The home front is very similar to how I left it. Having lived here for 2 months now, I feel like I actually belong here again. Sure, I'm still in a dingy old basement with no windows, concrete floors and walls and it's cold as hell, but it's a space I have all to myself, I can entertain who I want, when I want, and I don't have to worry about people walking in on a whim. It works out nicely I guess. I pay rent to my parents (I wouldn't want to live here for free anyway, that's just a little weird) so it's not so much that I'm living WITH them as it is I'm living at the same place they are...
Anyway, I really REALLY should try to get some sleep (I don't think it's going to happen). I'm physically exhausted but my mind is spinning. Who knows when it'll stop (probably right when Kenny walks in the door this afternoon).
In the past couple weeks, I have had things change on me at work. Some things that I have been doing for the past 2 months have been wrapping up and a newer (MUCH BIGGER) project is starting that won't finish until November. I spoke to my boss today about the future, and I told him that I wasn't interested in moving as much anymore, that I wanted to be in this area for at least another year due to personal issues. I told him that I haven't heard of any problems that have arisen from me being out of the office (and I have been asking around) and that I don't forsee a problem arising from me being at a remote location, and he didn't comment so I couldn't tell if he agreed or not... We'll see what he says in the coming weeks. They can't get rid of me though, I've done the best job in the position I'm in that they have had anyone do, and these projects coming up require MORE people (not less). So I'm playing with basically all the chips already.
Things with Kenny have been progressing nicely. I have my small periods of doubt, as does he, but we know that we really like eachother and see eachother as someone we could spend alot of time with, so in the end, we believe it'll all work out. Only time will tell, right? He's the main reason I didn't want to move out of this area. He's stuck here until 2006 so, I don't want to move out and leave him behind just as we're finding out that we are quite compatible.
I really miss having someone around all the time like I did when I lived with Marci. In fact, when I think about it, I really just miss Marci. She was a great friend and I feel I ruined alot of what we had together. I want to see her more often and should be able to soon once I can drive again (my license is actually legally restored, I just have to clear up a silly matter in another state). I hope she'll want me to..
The home front is very similar to how I left it. Having lived here for 2 months now, I feel like I actually belong here again. Sure, I'm still in a dingy old basement with no windows, concrete floors and walls and it's cold as hell, but it's a space I have all to myself, I can entertain who I want, when I want, and I don't have to worry about people walking in on a whim. It works out nicely I guess. I pay rent to my parents (I wouldn't want to live here for free anyway, that's just a little weird) so it's not so much that I'm living WITH them as it is I'm living at the same place they are...
Anyway, I really REALLY should try to get some sleep (I don't think it's going to happen). I'm physically exhausted but my mind is spinning. Who knows when it'll stop (probably right when Kenny walks in the door this afternoon).
posted by Fizzle @ 9:22 AM
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